3.8.2008

Every death is a creation…

Death is always here, we only chose to see its face sometimes and ignore it at other times. It's been an interesting day today as we found out that one of the students' grandmother died. Emma lives in Doha with her husband Greg and she's from New Zealand originally. She only arrived 2 weeks ago for a big birthday celebration of her grandmother's 90th. And this morning had a phone call from her mother to find out that she was taken ill yesterday and passed away, so she's flying back home for the funeral and to support her mother.

And it was only yesterday that John had to fly to North Island to visit his mother who was in hospital. I was amazed by how strong and still he was even with the shocking news, and came into the yoga room to teach his class without distraction.

Anyhow we also just watched the movie Fountain by Darren Aronofsky . It's an amazing movie that shows that death is also creation and there is nothing to be afraid of. As we die we create new space for others around us, to grow, to learn, to feel…And as we die we also create new beginnings for ourselves. Yet we are so sad to lose our loved ones, not so much because they are dead, after all we should celebrate the fact that they are not suffering anymore, they have learned their lesson and moved on. But we are sad because of ourselves, because we don't know how to fill in the hole, that emptiness that is left all of a sudden. We are sad because we feel sorry for ourselves.

I don't think there is anything wrong with those, simple human emotions, needs…It only becomes a problem if it continues for a long time, when it becomes longing, depression…It also made me think about what Goenka would say, the association of the "I" the ego. When it is someone else's grandmother surely we feel sad for that person but we are still able to stand outside of the circle, not being able to truly relate. It is only when it becomes "my grandmother" the pain is different. Why? Because of our identity, our ego, our attachments and aversions…And Goenkaji would say "from the moment you are born you are running towards your death, so why do you celebrate your birthday with such joy. When you are 20years old you are in fact 20years nearer to your death"…

But do we really think about death or the dead? Not unless it comes near us…