4.6.2008

Everything changes

This was the opening line of Swami's new class yesterday. At the time I wasn't aware how significant it was to be later on. Not only do we change moment to moment, everything does as well, there is nothing that is constant…

Lawrence and I headed into town last night. As we had fun hanging out in a ghost town (because everything was closed due to Queen's birthday??) I didn't expect to hear what I would hear from him when we returned.

He left Stillpoint this morning due to many reasons, which I could understand and know that he will be much more happier. But I cant help the fact that I miss him so much. I felt his energy go, an emptiness grew in the place. I know that there is no chance of bumping into him as I walk to the tree, he wont be practising at 6am as I meditate in the yoga studio, his love will not be fed through his yummy cooking, his laughter will not be close to our ears, nor his eyes sparkling as he interacts with people.

Interesting thing is that I can see how I changed in the last few weeks. I have a sense of floating when any ridiculous emotion arises, like jealousy, attachment, pity, fears..Perhaps I have learned more than I expected. As much as I miss Lawrence's presence I'm also happy for him, as I respect that this is his journey. And as I trust the universe. Nothing is a consequence, it is simply a part of a master plan. I'm happy that our paths crossed, the short time he spent here I got to know him, learn from him and love him. So that will stay with me always.

Swami seems to say the magical words and then a great example appears, she was talking about the universe and the connection we all have with one another. I love her example of the cup of tea we drink, and the input there needs to be made by all sorts of people and energies for that particular tea bag to be given to us…from the supermarket, to the lorry driver, to the petrol that fills that tank, to the farmer in sri lanka, to the sun, to the earth…

Anyway she was talking about something similar again today and at tea break John walked in with a bunch of flowers that were sent by Scott and Malin to us. So that we could feel their energies in the room as we did our yoga…

It was a beautiful gift to show that they were still with us, even though they were thousands of miles away. So life is a balance of all things, some things sad that happen, some great surprises come our way. Its all about how we interpret them. With gratitude, appreciation and awareness.

I'm off to read Prem's book that Scott left behind, especially that chapter he made me read on his first day here: on love!