12.7.2008

Time to witness relationships!

Well, it's been amazing few days in Byron Bay.

Saying goodbye to my darling lion family Mandy and Bart was pretty hard in Port Macquarie. Initially I wasn't sure if I was being a burden for such a long time, but I could see how much they were enjoying my company too. We had fun in the evenings, cooking, eating, watching movies or wildlife programmes, Mandy doing her colouring in book for her teacher training, getting cosy under the blanket on the big red leather sofa with Mandy, their funny arguments over how many pieces of chocolate everyone was getting…It's just been amazing, they've been the funniest couple to live with. And as much as I thought I had learnt to say goodbye easily I couldn't hold back the tears as we drove off with Denis on Friday towards Byron Bay.

Denis is so easy to be with because she speaks her mind, she has clear ideas about what she wants or doesn't want, she loves to eat, she loves to explore, she loves to rest…And she's louder than me…My god, our 4 hour drive was hilarious, it was like a wrestling match to see who would be louder than the other. I said that if we had a passenger in the back they would be deaf by the end of it.

We had a great morning of yoga practise in our room on Saturday and apparently were still loud for our neighbours to hear us "exercise" as they called it. It could have sounded pretty dodgy I guess because halfway through our personal practise we decided to do some partner yoga or give each other intense stretches which involved a lot of moaning and groaningJ

Anyhow I got myself a big surprise. I had wanted to do something significant for a while. I mean everything I do these days is pretty significant but I wanted to have its mark. So I walked into a tattoo parlour and got myself a permanent tattoo. Denis will be putting up the photos pretty soon I guess to share with the world what a wimp I am, or at least how low my pain threshold is. It is something that means a lot to me, and it is deliberately on a place where I could see it most (inside of my left wrist) and it is written in Sanskrit and in English "atha" which means Now…It is to take me to the beginning of it all, it is to remind me of the present, it is to help me be free at all times…I love it! However it looks a little wonky but Denis thinks it may be the swelling and even if it is a little wonky, at least it looks unique and organic! Hmmm, I love it anyhow.

Ok, lets make it to the relationships…I met the lovely married friends of Denis's and instantly got the feeling that there were problems in the relationship and later found out that there were many things, irritations, not helping one another around the house, expectations, judgements, losing intimacy…I mean this is a long list and not all of it was happening at the same time but just watching the conversation (as I decided that it was better to observe than contribute to it) took me back to a lot of Swami's teachings. What true love really is, what lack of communication does to people, how people have their self worth and get attached to that image, how we try to hold on to the past and resist the change that naturally takes part, in our lives and in our partners' lives.

It was then painful, to an extend, to watch this person criticise Denis's relationship, which I found absolutely beautiful because it has the essence of honesty, surrender, acceptance and its bloody real…With its ups and downs it is the perfect example of a life situation and a meaningful relationship within it. I think Denis knows deep down that she won't be standing to any of the criticisms anyway as she's a strong character.

But then to meet up with Olcay, my newly acquainted friend, who will be giving me a lift into Brisbane tomorrow morning, having a domestic with his girlfriend made me wonder why people are creating such complexity in their lives. I can't really comment at all in his situation because I don't know him at all. But I just felt a tension around me, the negative energy around, unhappy people…

And at the same time a realisation that I would be aware enough in my relationships not to be in those situations. But then all relationships have different challenges anyway.