For Richard

When I decided to walk up the stairs towards the lighthouse to sit with Richard overlooking the lighthouse beach I had no idea what was to come. In fact I didn't even know his name then; I just knew that I had met his eyes on number of occasions and that I wanted to speak with him.

We were sitting in a small group on the beach with other yogis and waiting for the sunset. When I noticed Richard sitting high up on the top of the stairs I simply got up without saying a word, washed the sand off my feet in the ocean and started to walk towards him. He waved and smiled, it was very inviting. I had less than 48 hours left in Kovalam but when I decided to seize the moment nothing mattered much, I think for the first time I managed to lose the sense of time.

As I walked up I could feel a gentle nervousness in my blood, my heart beating faster, tingling sensations in my upper body, head throbbing a little. It was hard to tell whether these were due to walking up the stairs or knowing that I was getting closer to him with each step I took.

I was unaware that I had left a bunch of proud yogis on the beach who admired my courage to just get up and leave. I was also unaware that they were subtly watching our body language and drawing conclusions from it.

What I felt when I said hello to Richard is a bit of a blur. Maybe that's when people say "the time stood still". He has a very calm, warm energy, instantly puts you at ease. He has beautiful clear blue eyes, so deep that you can dive into them and he holds you there very safely as you explore. And a beautiful smile, a bit like a cheeky young boy who is up to a lot of mischief and yet wins everyone's hearts.

We spoke for over an hour, sometimes sitting in silence watching the waves or watching each other. It was a moment of complete presence and stillness that remained from moment to moment, fully indulging in sensations. I guess I could have sat there with him for eternity. Not necessarily talking about our identities but just being, a reunion, a dance of energies. It wasn't purely a sexual attraction, although I admit that I had been admiring him from a distance for some time, even in the last years. But the initial pull towards him felt much more innocent and pure, as though it wasn't so much me but my soul was seeking for his.

What we said remains private, and the evening we spent the following day was certainly special. I really heard him, some things were reassured, and some things were warned inside me. I didn't want to admit to how he had shown me the way because I just wanted him to follow his intuition and let everything flow through him.

As to what happens next? I don't know and I don't need to know. He's on a very special journey and what we shared was beyond either of our egos, it was very free, non-judgemental, like a drop of oil on water. I am simply grateful for the brief encounter we had and however it may unfold. "Instant gratification" would be the term to summarise it, fruits of it were gained in the moment, as we lived the moment.

Much love to Richard, a very special surprise on my trip.