Round The World Wobbles

In exactly six weeks I'll be in the US of A!! SIX WEEKS! Ah wow, how that has creeped up on me! I still have so much to do!

As a newly unemployed gal (there were tears on my final day, and have been since as it is such a huge change in my life, a huge loss in my life) I'm finding my days are full of researching, planning, learning about places, "best ofs" and "the rest ofs". At times, today in particular, I feel the worry-wobbles coming over me.

As much as I'm a very independent and capable girl in many aspects of life, the thought that every decision is down to me can be overwhelming.

When planning any jaunt, a weekend getaway, a foreign holiday, anything, I'm very particular and want everything to be perfect. Planning this round the world trip is no different. But oh how I worry! I feel a tightness creep up in my chest. I feel dark clouds of potential problems and pitfalls, that I've not even considered, looming upon me, about to wreak havoc and throw my plans into turmoil. (Plans, plans, planning, plans!)

THIS is more complicated than I expected! "Go like a feather in the wind, Ruth" is what folk tell me. But I'm a safety conscious gal who feels I can't just "let it happen". I don't want, at any point, to feel unduly uncomfortable in a destination, in my accommodation, in my chosen location, in myself. I feel, at this juncture, I have to try to anticipate every eventuality. Which, of course, is impossible! I know I'm going to face situations and problems I could never have foreseen! I know I can think on my feet, trust my instinct and put my safety before my wants. BUT... (But but but...) And, as I write, those buts are playing on my mind massively.

I'm so enjoying planning this huge adventure. But (there goes the but again...) I'm also so conscious that it's all on my shoulders. All on my planning. All on my whim. All on my own! But maybe that's where the deliciousness of all this comes into it. That I can't see or feel just yet. That I can't even begin, or even imagine, will change my life forever.

So, for now, I've got to let the worries slide and the hope of good times roll. And that's a little bit difficult at times, for this wordy worrier...!

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