Adventures of Gamblegirl
Date: 16 October 2003 Adventures of Gamblegirl: Greece Yussou! Greetings from Greece. First of all let me just say - I hate being sick!! Welcome to the fluey, spewy and pooey tour with yours truly. Our bus is like a moving coughing machine - so much so that its been re nicknamed conspewy. Name a person whose not coughing and I'll prove you wrong. On average, someone coughs and splutters every 7 seconds. Instead of our bus song being The Dandy Warhols "Bohemian Like You", it's cough, splutter, gasp. Yes we have the Contiki Cough. Even this girl. I've been fsp for my whole stay in Mykenos. Yes welcome to paradise - can't do anything but spew and poo. On the fun and games for me. To the residents of Mykenos that I perged in your front yard, I am so sorry. For 6 days straight, I haven't kept a single thing in - in truth I'm £($%&$£(%&$(%& starving!!! Second thing - I don't think that travelling by boats is for me. I resisted the urge to go up on deck for I might jump overboard in desperation ot GET OFF!!! I don't know what it is but I last 2 hours and I'm dying to get off! We've travelled on a couple of ferries in Greece and each time I suffer a bit of cabin fever! Third thing - to the dry cleaners in Mykenos, I gave you the impossible and you surpassed it. After riding on yet another friggin ferry, some how I got grease on my beloved grey GAP sweatshirt (grease in Greece - sorry bad pun). A total nightmare because a) it's my fav jumber; b) it's my only jumper; c) it also doubles as my pillow because the ones over here are CRAP!!! With less then a day to salvage my jumper, the woman told me that she couldn't remove all of it. Like a fairy godmother, she did the impossible and when I tried to tip her, she wouldn't take it! Fourth thing - I dislike Athens intensly! It's a horrible, dirty place where the people are unbelievable rude and need some serious manners installed into them Fifth thing - Hamish Park - are you bloody kidding? There is no way in hell that Athens are going to be ready in time for the Olympics. They are so far behind it's beyond a joke. One guy in our bus has made the statement if they are ready, he'll do a nudie streak during the opening ceremony!". PS - it sounds like you went on a similar tour to me. "It's not wrong, it just different!" Sixth thing - THIS IS JUST WRONG!! Toilet paper needs to be flushed and not put in a basket besides the loo. I don't care about the clogging up of your pipes, it's just WRONG! Anyway, lets get on about Greece. Bye to my beloved Italy - yeah Lis, can see what you are talking about. Italy rocks! So on to Greece it is... CORFU: My first Greek Island, 3 days to chill out and do absolutely nothing after some hectic travelling. Lazy, lazy yup that's moi. Our accommodation was a 10 min walk from the beach (and a supermarket that was soooo cheap!), so naturally where did I first head? Into town or course! A little shopping is required. Then off the beach it is! Let me describe the beach - to us Aussies that are used to stretches of golden sand, umm it's all pebbles over here. Yup pebbles, but the waters still are wet and cold, so it's all good. Camped my arse on a sunbed, flicked open the book on Greek methology I'd bought (am hooked on it now! and I've discovered that ancient Greeks and even modern ones are quite liberated when it come to nudity, sex and combining the 2 in art! Oh and Zesus - dude could you put it about any more?) and was set. One of the nights in Corfu, a few of my fellow musketeer travellers (Andi, Anna, Jane, Danielle (Dan), Lisa and I ) had our own little party on the balcony of our hotel room. Anna bought Gordon Gin and I have discovered that it goes down quite nicely with Fanta Lemonade. Pretty soon we were shouting out "Show us your togas / Nice togas" (there was a toga party going on) and having lots of rowdy fun. Another night we went out for a Greek meal and dancing. After a shot Puzo (arrrggghhh!), it was a photo with a traditional dressed woman and man and a really yummy meal - oh and some Greek dancing. Out of curiousity I went to see my photo, but they hadn't put it up. Pissed off, I went and b****ed to my friends about it. But the hightlight is George's boat. Okay if you don't want to know about drinking and debuchery - don't read the rest of this section and go on to Mykenons! Still with me? Okay there's a saying Greece (and esp on George's boat!) DONT BEND OVER IN GREECE!!! Um I did that and I got my arse dry humped twice by George. All I was doing was leaning into get in a photo - arse up in the air and bam he was there! George has an "interesting" collection of "toys" which appeals to my sense of humour ie gutter, filthy and rude. George it seems took a liking to me and for the sake of the fact that my parents read this, I'll leave it there! However, am more then happy to go into gory details, if you want to just drop me a quick line. I did however, get to drive the boat which was cool. The water as just gorgeous - that blue-green water that you see. Naturally had to dive in and experience it! Sigh, sunburnt, drunk, soaking wet, yup a good day and a good way to end Corfu. MYKENOS: Yippee, it's the island paradise, expect I was barely able to enjoy any of it, as I was too sick. All I saw was the hotel pool (which was amazing at night. A teal green colour) and the town. Oh and the odd bathroom or two. But what I did see was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Pristine white buildings with blue trimmings (or occasionally red) against barren hills and surrounded by beautiful blue water. It was postcard beautiful, but walking around town was a bit trippy because everything looked the same. This is where I started to get my two week period of being nothing but sick. My only real regret in Mykenos was to not ride a scooter. Oh well such is life. But our room!! Eeeck!!! It reeked. From the hallway and into our room, it stunk of sewerage and smelt of a stinky toilet. Sometimes in the night I'd wake up gagging - oh it was foul!!! ATHENS: As discussed in point 4, Athen I don't like. At all. It's so bloody grubby and the people need some manners prompt! And if that's not enough, the cig ads in Athens!! I'm being bombarded with them. Every second billboard is for a cig brand. It's enough to drive me to smoke!! I think the only thing that I liked about Athens was the Acropolis and the Parthenon. Standing before them was a similar experience to The Colossuem for me. Pinch me now, is this reality? Okay gamble breathe, pinch yourself, yup you are really here - SWEET!!! Imagine my excitement after reading all about Zesus and the gods when I discover that there is a Zesus temple. Woo hoo - HAD TO GO THERE!! In Athens there is a palace which have the most hilariously dressed guards (second the Swiss guards that is!). I swear I'd piss myself laughing then run away in fear if they were to attack me. And while my track record of actually seeing the changing of the Guard is hovering on GIVE UP - YOU AINT GONNA SEE IT!, I happened to catch the changing of the Greek guards. Let's just say there's a lot of foot kicking and scruffing and I've never laughed so hard in my life. Oh yeah real scary!!! On this bus, we have a few, well lets just say "dumbarse" of the week candidates or otherwise known as Fraggles. Let me just share a few gems from them. Steve from Melbourne (or yobbo as I have taken to call him), in Pompeii mid tour after the guide had just explained how poisionous gases from the volcano killed anyone left in town: "So like what happened here? Like a war or something?" Mike from Brisbane (nickname Ocker!) at the Parthenon: "s***! This is real old!" At this gamblegirl nearly fell over and wet her pants with laughter at ocker he sounded Jed at the Parthenon, after how it was explained about the design to counter effect optical illusions: "Well what an idiot!" Well actually no, that's pretty much a genius! Ditzy Mia in Pompeii: "Where's the pregnant lady that's been covered in ash?" Um Mia, see where everyone else is looking? Yeah there. DM (again): "Hey where's the group?" Um, Mia, see that line of people over there, yeah hello that's the group!! DM (AGAIN! - 3 strikes and you are whallowing in the end of the gene pool hon!) at the Colessuem: "How many people did it seat?" Tour guide answers, 2 seconds later: "So how many people did it seat?" I had to walk away before I slapped her! Yobbo in Corfu: "So like what's happening? Why aren't we moving?" Us:"Um we are waiting for the boat to arrive!" Yobbo in Venice on departure time. Tour Manager: "We need to catch the boat back to camp at 5:00. It's a 15 min walk." Yobbo: "So what time do we catch the boat?" Next location ... Venice Cheers Love and kisses from your neighbourhood freak!!!!