It's Pongal, a public holiday. We have a look through the available information and see that there's something about 15kms to the south called VGP Golden Beach which appears to be some kind of theme park. Intrigued, we decide to check it out, and hire a car and driver for a half-day for Rs500.

As we approach VGP Golden Beach it's immediately apparent that this is going to be one of the busier places in Chennai today. There are crowds milling around the main entrance, which is styled like an ancient temple, and along the road. VGP, it seems, stands for the initials of some brothers who own the attraction. And not just the theme park either. Most of the property in this area seems to have "VGP" stamped on it.

We join a queue (Indian style, not too well formed) to pay our Rs50 each, and go in through the turnstile. What we have entered is an Indian version of an amusement park, with funfair rides and similar attractions. A few of the rides are fairly modern (e.g a ride with chairs on the end of legs which spins round and tips the riders upside down) but most are very basic and unsophisticated. Like many Indian ventures, there is an air of "work-in-progress" about the place. Some forlorn statues which are out of use (e.g. with arms missing or decapitated) have been dumped beside the pathway instead of being out of sight, and an enclosure titled "Deer Park" turns out to be a walled rectangle of grassless earth. However it's all very popular and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves.

We follow signs for the beach, with the idea that we might sit and read, or play another game of bat and ball (the game we bought in Goa). The section of beach fronting the amusement park is, unsurprisingly, packed with people many of whom are jumping excitedly in the surf fully clothed. Beyond that immediate area there are few people, so we go to walk beyond the VPG beach area but we're prevented from doing so by several beach security guards. "Walking," we say, making walking movements with our fingers as if to emphasise the point. The duty guards don't seem to think that walking is allowed, but a senior guard comes over and, given that we are foreign tourists, determines that walking is in fact OK for us, (but probably not for locals), and they let us out. "Only ten minutes," one says. We soon realise the reason why wanting to walk along this stretch of sand is unusual - this is an urban beach used for all sorts of industrial purposes, and also as the local toilet. It's dirty and not very inviting. We decide we've had our Rs50-worth of fun and head out of the park back onto the roadway.

Next door is another VGP property called the Golden Beach Resort. By now we're looking for lunch so we decide to give it a try. At the entrance to what looks like a large ornamental garden is a reception building but there are no other buildings apparent. "Do you have a restaurant?" we ask, and the receptionist waves us dismissively in the general direction of an open-air eatery where we order drinks and a snack. We're intrigued because it's not so much a restaurant as just a set of covered eating areas, with no kitchen visible nearby and certainly no sign of a hotel or hotel accommodation. Nevertheless, the drinks and snacks duly arrive, brought through a door in the wall, and having completed these we decide to do some exploring.

The gardens are reasonably overgrown and in need of serious attention, but what is most interesting are the statues and figurines which are dotted around the gardens in a haphazard manner. The whole property stretches from the road to the beach, some 500m altogether, and all the way along the wall down one side is a giant evolutionary-themed frieze comprising numerous sculpted figures and artefacts. This includes a depiction of Adam and Eve, the development of transport from cart to car, and the evolution of man from ape to, what appears to be, table-tennis man. At the entrance to the gardens is a huge figure of God sitting beside the Earth. He looks rather fearsome - pretty scary for small children we think.

As we walk down the road we realise that the resort's accommodation is in the form of a number of stand-alone cottages on stilts set amongst the trees towards the beach. There's a large building by a swimming pool near the beach designed, we think, to look like Noah's Ark. Around the cottages are more figures, almost lifesize, which are a combination of real animals, cartoon characters, and creatures of fantasy, almost all of which are in a state of disrepair.

We're in the process of wondering what this is all about when we're approached by a man who introduces himself as Charles, the Marketing Manager for VGP Resorts. He explains that the resort was severely damaged by the 2004 tsunami when the water came up to over half of the site. Only now are they getting the place back on its feet, and this is the reason for the run-down nature of the place. Charles is happy to tell us the story of the resport, which is 20 years old, and takes a photo of us beside some of the figures.

Our curiosity satisfied, we say goodbye to Charles and head back to our waiting car. We've got some time remaining before the car has to be returned so our driver takes us on a short tour of some of the city's sights, includng the very wide Marina Beach where we lose count of the number of games of cricket being played along a service road adjacent to the sand. In the evening we eat in the hotel next door to our own. The food's better and the surroundings nicer. Clive's getting worried that he'll forget all his Ceroc moves if he doesn't get some practice in soon so after dinner we try out the hotel's nightclub, called Sparks. It's a dark place with ultra-violet lighting and, no doubt, high drink prices. We would have stayed but, unfortunately, there's no disco on a Sunday. Clive will have to be satisfied with imagining the dance moves in his head.